


So You've Completed Your Magical Education, Now What?

by starlillie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlillie/pseuds/starlillie
Summary: Being an adult is hard. Lily and James can come face to face with one of the darkest wizards in a thousand years, but they can’t make their own dinner.





	So You've Completed Your Magical Education, Now What?

**Author's Note:**

> written for the march edition of jilychallenge on tumblr. thanks to erin-riwen for the beta!

Being an adult, as Lily quickly found out, wasn’t easy. Jinxes, hexes, stunners, and a good blasting curse, those she could do. Put her in front of a cauldron, she could brew Dreamless Sleep with her eyes closed. Give her fifteen minutes and a Charms textbook, she could have the hedges singing the Hogwarts school song. 

Yet somehow, magical cooking was out of her grasp. And her new husband’s as well.

It was pitiful, really. They could come face to face with one of the darkest wizards in a thousand years and walk away with their lives, but they couldn’t make their own dinner. Something fundamental was missing from their education, and while Lily appreciated that Hogwarts didn’t have a gender divide among its studies, she now wished desperately that there’d been some sort of home economics class like there was in Muggle schools.

After her first disastrous cooking attempt, wherein she’d set fire to the kitchen table with a very unfortunate heating charm (and she’d almost set fire to James’s shirttails, too - the prat was so busy laughing he didn’t move out of the way), she thought to visit Flourish and Blotts. She had hoped to find something like _Life After Hogwarts: The Guide to Becoming a Responsible Adult_ or even _Magical Chores for Dunderheads_. What she found instead were mostly recipe books which assumed the reader already knew the basics. Well, Lily fucking didn’t! There was no way she and James were the only ones to have trouble with this. The wizarding world was so consistently unhelpful sometimes.

She ended up bringing home a slim volume that seemed promising, only to toss it across the room and attempt to smother herself amongst the sofa cushions once she inspected it closely and saw it had been published sometime in the 1300s. It was only still in print, as James informed her with a childlike smile on his face, because the author was something of a Mother Goose for magical children. There were cautionary tales and rhymes sprinkled throughout more practical things, like how to properly maintain a chamber pot. 

“Good thinking, Lil! Everyone needs a copy of this in their home,” James said, sliding the book onto the shelf by the mantel as Lily sunk further into the sofa.

Their next several forays into cooking for themselves were just as bad, if not worse. Lily charmed a set of knives to chop the vegetables for a stew, but left them alone too long and they chopped right through the countertop. James, for all his talent in academics and the quidditch pitch, was not gifted in the culinary arts. With a flick of his wand, he sent ingredients flying through the air. It was impressive. Until the jam wrapped itself around the roast and the carrots and peas settled with the custard in the trifle. “Mum and Dad made it look so easy!” He grimaced and ran his hand through his hair, smearing jam in it and onto the back of his neck.

The solution to such atrocities was always the same.

“Padfoot!” Lily called through the floo, and it wasn’t long before Sirius’s head appeared in the flames.

“You ready to go?” he asked, grinning wickedly. Lily’s shoulders slumped. She moved aside as Sirius stepped out of the fireplace and into their living room. “I’ve been waiting. Took a bit longer for you to call than usual. Maybe you’ll have something edible next week?”

Lily thought of the carrot trifle. “Doubt it.”

Sirius pulled his leather jacket tighter around his shoulders. “Works for me. Where tonight? The Leaky?”

“It’s quiz night!” James shouted, emerging from the kitchen. “Definitely the Leaky.”

“Right.” Sirius vanished the rest of the jam from James’s hair and threw some more floo powder into the flames. “After you,” he said to Lily.

***

Sometimes doing adult things wasn’t so awful. In her childhood, washing the dishes was Lily’s least favorite chore. But with James, it was an adventure.

“One warming charm as ordered, Captain.” James pointed his wand at the dishwater and then gave her a sudsy salute.

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing and dipped her hands back into the water. It was hot again as she dragged the dishcloth across a plate and passed it to James to rinse off with an _aguamenti_. In between dishes, he would make the soap bubbles change colors or float through the air or he’d dip down and nuzzle her cheek with his nose. And every few minutes, he would decide to thoroughly distract her, and she’d allow herself to be distracted.

Kissing James made her feel warmer than the water. His hand was warm on her cheek, his hair warm as she threaded it through her fingers. His lips were warm against her own, and his tongue was hot as it ran across the inside of her mouth.

“Going to need another warming charm,” she said, pulling away. James leaned in for one more kiss, no more than a peck this time, and aimed his wand at the sink again.

***

Bad habits were impossible to hide when you lived with someone. James would have found out sooner or later, regardless, but she’d planned to reveal it more… delicately. 

“Lily!” James sounded on the verge of panic as he called out for her from their bedroom upstairs. “I think someone’s broken in and jinxed our wardrobe!”

Lily cursed under her breath. James had been on a mission for the Order which had taken him away from home for nearly a week. She’d had the house all to herself for the first time since they moved in and, well, she’d let loose. 

It wasn’t a secret. Not really. All of the Gryffindor girls in their year knew - Lily was a little bit of a slob. Sure, James knew she was a kind of disorganized. He’d seen her study notes for school, writing scrawled all over the margins of the parchment, and the broken quills and empty ink pots forever littering the bottom of her rucksack. But she hadn’t prepared him for the reality of who he married. 

She shuffled up the stairs and down the hallway.

“Lily,” James said again, gesturing wildly once she’d poked her head into the bedroom. “Who the fuck would have done this?” 

“Er…” She couldn’t really blame James for thinking someone had jinxed the wardrobe. Clothes covered nearly every surface of the room: crumpled robes in piles on the floor, blouses tossed on the end of the bed, a pair of trousers hanging from a floor lamp. Her sock drawer was completely pulled out and lying next to the wardrobe. She didn’t want to think about the state of her underwear drawer. And then there was the chair. It was piled so high with clothes it was nearly as tall as James. They weren’t _dirty_ , exactly. She couldn’t throw them on the floor with the rest; she’d only worn them once or twice. She couldn’t put them back in the wardrobe, either. They weren’t clean. They just… needed to be worn a few more times.

James inspected the back of the wardrobe and tapped it with his wand. “I don’t think the jinx is active anymore.”

“Er, James,” Lily said, placing her hand on his arm and making him lower his wand. “The wardrobe’s fine. It was me.” 

He blinked several times in quick succession. “Everything you own is on the carpet, Lil. I wasn’t even gone a week.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t wear them _all_. I may have been indecisive.”

James looked dazedly around the bedroom and blinked a few more times. “Can you at least clear a trail to the en suite?”

“Right. Will do.”

***

Other times, Lily found living so closely with another person soothing. Her favorite thing about living with James was when they were able to sit around, nothing on their agenda. They’d cuddle on the sofa or chat around the kitchen table or invite Sirius over for a few rounds of Exploding Snap. And every few nights, they’d spend a couple of hours sitting up in bed together before they went to sleep.

Lily was reading a novel - a Muggle thriller. James thought it was funny and very Gryffindor of her. Apparently, she didn’t get enough drama and intrigue in her actual very dramatic and dangerous life as a witch fighting for her life and the right to her own magic. Truthfully, she mostly read Muggle books because they were familiar, and sometimes, yes, she did need to feel the thrill of a danger she hadn’t actually experienced. Contemporary wizard novels, even the romance ones, were all about the same thing. She lived it. She didn’t want to read about it in her spare time, too.

James shifted beside her as she flipped the page of her book. He’d finished off his stack of quidditch magazines and was now reading a paper on elemental transfiguration. She’d married a huge nerd.

He nudged her in the stomach with his elbow. “What’s happening?”

“The detective has narrowed the suspects down to two people. I think the big showdown will be in the next couple of chapters.”

James stretched his arms high above his head and scooted down the bed, turning on his side to face her. He settled his head against her hip and yawned. “Which one do you think it is?”

She hummed. “Neither.” He quirked a brow at her. “But we’ll see.”

“You’ll have to tell me in the morning.”

“Mm.”

And this was what she enjoyed most - James curled up next to her, his breathing evening out as he fell into a deep sleep. She ran her fingers through his tangled curls and plucked his glasses from the bridge of his nose. He forgot to take them off half the time. Lily smiled to herself and turned another page in her book.

***

An _Outstanding_ Charms NEWT got you absolutely nowhere when it came to household chores. James learned that the hard way. “It will be so easy!” he told her. “Nothing to it!” he said.

What a load of shit.

Literally. Lily was standing in about an inch of murky toilet water. This was worse than the time she’d accidentally banished the contents of the cat’s litter box instead of vanishing it. James had been in a very unfortunate place at a very unfortunate time. It took two days and a blowjob to get him to speak properly to her after that. Comparatively, she was going to let him off easy.

Merlin only knew why James thought teaching the toilets to clean themselves would be a good idea. He barely knew how to teach _himself_ to clean the toilets.

“I’ll floo a plumber!” he pleaded, covered from the knees down in brown, sludgy muck. At least the worst of it seemed to be only on his clothes. Clothes could be vanished. And then he could throw himself in the downstairs bath and soak for an hour or two.

“Yeah. You do that. I’m going to Sirius’s. Let me know when it’s taken care of and this,” Lily pulled a face and gestured to the bits of toilet paper and feces floating around their bathroom floor, “is gone.”

She smiled and waved goodbye to a desperate looking James.

***

James was silly, and Lily adored him. 

He was silly when he put on the wireless that evening. His eyes lit up and he bowed and asked the cat to dance. He was absolutely, wonderfully silly as he stepped and twirled around their living room, the cat tucked into his arms and his glasses crooked and his grin so wide it reached his eyes.

He could make her laugh, even in the darkest of times.

All he had to do was smile and extend his hand. The cat jumped away and hid under the armchair. She stood up and James held her close, spinning and swaying out of time with the music. She’d learned at their wedding reception that James had never been taught to dance properly, but neither had she. She held onto his waist, her forehead brushing the top of his shoulder, and closed her eyes. There was a war going on, but it was going to be okay.

Later that night, they stumbled into the bedroom, still laughing and dancing. James collapsed on top of the chair piled with Lily’s clothes. His cheeks dimpled as he ran his hands over his face. Lily couldn’t resist him. She slid onto his lap, knees on either side of him, and kissed the crown of his messy head.

James grabbed her thighs and tilted his head so they were staring right into each other’s eyes. He was warm beneath her and she scooted impossibly closer, her chest flush with his. Their kisses were slow and familiar. Lily moved a hand down between them, massaging the front of James’s trousers, as he slid his hands further up her thighs.

Lily giggled when James shucked his trousers and pants. She smiled when she hiked up her skirt and removed her own underwear. She sighed when James entered her. And she laughed again when he nipped playfully at her shoulder as they rocked together on the chair. He had one arm wrapped around her lower back, his fingers kneading the flesh of her bum. His other hand was tangled in her hair, and his mouth was licking and sucking at the hollow between her neck and shoulder. She tossed her head back and dug her fingers into his shoulder blades, enjoying the ride.

All her clothes stacked on the chair were going to have to be moved to the dirty pile on the floor in the morning. 

***

Nearly a year into their marriage, they were finally, _finally_ at a point where they could cook an edible meal. Well, most of the time, anyway. Unfortunately, most of the time didn’t encompass tonight, when Lily and James had planned a dinner party for their friends.

“It’s okay, Lily,” Peter said, patting her arm consolingly. “Next time.”

“I’m sure it - er - would have been delicious,” Remus added. His expression, as he inspected the charred remains of their would-be dinner, did not match his words. He was probably trying to figure out what it was supposed to have been, but she wasn’t going to clue him in. He didn’t need to know how badly she and James could fuck up roasting a chicken.

“The pub it is then!” Sirius’s barking laughter echoed off the walls of the kitchen. He slung an arm around James’s sunken, defeated shoulders and dragged him toward the floo. “Quiz night!” 

Lily drew her wand. She vanished the mess and sent the dishes flying to the sink. She’d deal with those after she kicked Sirius’s arse at quiz night.


End file.
